You’ve got to be kidding me…
07 Aug 2010 Leave a Comment
in Fluckery at it's Finest, This world we live in, Venting Tags: More
I just finished reading an article in the August 2010 issue of Marie Claire titled Single Girl Seeks Sugar Daddy. I was hoping that they would have it on their website so that I would be able to link directly to the article but they didn’t. All I can say after reading this though is wow…
I really don’t want to give this chick too much shine, so I’m not mentioning her name, because clearly something is wrong with her mentally and from the tone of the article you can tell that Amanda Robb (the reporter interviewing her) realizes that she’s a few sandwiches short of a picnic basket as well. She left a job as a psychologist in Australia at the request of her married boyfriend because he wanted a full time mistress. When that went south (shockingly) she found herself living above her means, unmotivated and heartbroken so instead of doing what any other strong woman would have done (mainly go back to work using that degree that couldn’t have been easy to obtain and making a personal pact to stay away from married men) she puts an ad online seeking a sugar daddy at the rate of $1000 per week. Today, she’s finished living the life of a well paid mistress and has written a book chronicling her life as the equivalent of a high class hooker. The article consists of her rationalizing this lifestyle and talking as if she has something over us regular women who choose not to sell our vaginas for a handbag and rent money.
Here’s an excerpt from the interview:
“MC: You’re an educated professional. How do you rationalize this lifestyle?
HH: We all sell ourselves – whether it’s our bodies, our brawn, or our minds. Selling a quality product is empowering when you get a lot of customers. And I had offers from dozens of men.
MC: But how is it any different from being a prostitute?
HH: Maybe I’m a sex worker, but by that definition, then so are women who only stay with their husbands for the weekly allowance. And at least I got to choose my buyers.
MC: You had four sugar daddies in half a year. If you’re selling yourself as a commodity¸ wasn’t it depressing to be “returned” so often?
HH: I didn’t take it personally. They just wanted to spoil themselves with me, and spoiling isn’t something people do for too long. If you have a treat all the time, it stops being a treat”
When did it become okay to refer to yourself as a piece of property? There’s no difference between what she’s doing and what women on the corner are doing. The only difference is that she is of the warped belief that this is the only way she can avoid being hurt and maintain an advantage over men. Her exact words when questioned on this are:
“Men are geared to be sexual creatures. If we force them to be monogamous, we’re not using their biology to our best advantage, and we’re going to be vulnerable. But negotiate with a man and it makes you powerful. If he goes to a strip club, maybe you get a new handbag or frock. It’s about working with nature rather than against it.”
When the reporter questioned her on this saying (obviously) that women can buy their own handbags and suggesting thoughts like these hold us back as women she responds with,
“What’s retro is how we demonize selling sex. Why, why is selling one’s vagina so very bad? It’s so screwed up. Besides, my handbags are worth more to me than a lay”
Really? Wth? The sad thing is I know women who think this way and I know mother’s who have passed this way of thinking on to their daughters. Personally, it makes me sick. My vagina is not now nor has it ever been for sale and it’s worth waaaaaaayyy more to me than any handbag on Earth. You can buy almost anything in this world but you cannot purchase self respect and self worth. When she hits middle age she’s going to hit a rude awakening because she will no longer be able to profit off her body this way. And by putting these thoughts out there in magazines, the internet and in her memoir no self respecting man is going to want to marry her, so I hope her book sells enough to support her in old age or that she is at least putting up some of the money these guys are paying her so that she has a retirement fund because very soon she’s going to have to wake up from this dream she is in. What happens to some women that they feel this is normal and is acceptable to pass on to the next generation? Why would you put a price on yourself? I couldn’t put a price on myself if I wanted to because I value myself so much that no one walking this earth could ever afford the price I would set so those that I choose to share myself and my time with should be extremely grateful that I bestowed that priveledge upon them. That’s how high all women should value themselves. This woman is a clear product of how a dysfunctional childhood home can affect a person’s mindset way into adulthood. She isn’t a young woman, she was 35 years old when she placed the sugar daddy classified ad, she’s a psychologist, and she should know better but this only serves as an example of what can happen when you put material possessions as the head of your life. There are women who will read this article and think everything she says makes sense. There are young women who will now go out and buy her book using it as the guideline for their own lives. She has a boyfriend with whom she practices “negotiated infidelity”. All that means is they are swingers but that is a whole other topic and this has gone on long enough.
The bottom line is that it doesn’t take rocket science or a degree in psychology to see that this isn’t the story of a woman empowered by her sexuality that has the upper hand on men and therefore should be looked up to. Based off what I’ve read in this article (I won’t be reading the book) this is the story of a woman who watched her father cheat constantly, who saw her mother hurt and torn but staying with this man, who opened her heart to a married man and gave up everything she’d worked for to be with him only to have him drop her once he grew bored, who sold her body out of a place of despair thinking this was the only way for her to get what she wanted out of men without having her heart broken, who then found a man who was attracted to her insecurities and used them to convince her that he was going to cheat regardless so that by allowing him the freedom to do so and basically pimp her out to other cheating men she could have her cake and eat it too and whom unfortunately is now passing her insecurities and shortcomings on to the next generation as evidenced by the following passage:
“MC: You are close to your young nieces. Do you consider yourself a decent role model for them?
HH: Yes! Teenage girls need to realize that nature makes young men under the influence of testosterone for the first time unscrupulous. If we continue to fight this future generation’s marriages are going to fail just as ours have”
She actually believes that marriages fail because women expect monogamy. And she actually believes that by passing this on she’s helping. Here’s my final question… when are we going to stop giving women like this the time of day? When will the media stop promoting these women? When will they stop getting publishing deals? I mean look at the world around us. Open marriages are getting press because of the celebrities currently involved, you have shows like Basketball Wives and Real Housewives where women aren’t even married but calling themselves wives and most are in it for the money, you have people like Superhead and the Tiger Woods harem promoting the groupie lifestyle and now you have this woman’s book. I’m sorry but enough is enough. I’m tired of seeing and reading about stuff like this and I’m scared of the world my daughters will inherit thanks to women like this. And this woman is a doctor. She could technically start treating people’s emotional problems at any time and spreading this stupidity from a medical perspective. Jesus take the wheel….. I pray that her sister or brother reads this article and keeps those young girls as far away from her as humanly possible.
****I refuse to print the title of the book or the name of the lady being interviewed because I will not give her further promotion on my blog BUT if you are interested in reading the rest of the article, you can pick up Marie Claire’s August 2010 issue which is on newsstands now, the title of the article is Single Girl Seeks Sugar Daddy by Amanda Robb.
Blog Location Change
09 Aug 2010 Leave a Comment
I want to thank everyone again for visiting and supporting my site.. I never imagined the support that I’ve received and while I’m still learning the ropes and getting accustomed to blogging I am truly enjoying this experience. To make it a little easier on myself and inevitably on you all who are reading I’ve decided to move the blog over to here. The main reason for the change is that while WordPress is a great hosting site and contains many great blogging features, it isn’t exactly set up for beginning bloggers and while I know my way around a computer, I’m still somewhat a newbie when it comes to web page creation, web design and it was a little too complicated to post on a regular basis with my hectic schedule while learning my way around the various features on the site. The new site is set up to be easy for beginners and has alot of great new features for me to take advantage of. I will be keeping this page open so that I may continue to learn how to use it but I will not be creating any new posts here. I’ve transferred all previous posts to the new site, however, I wasn’t able to transfer the comments so we’re starting from scratch but not really. The new page also has a great mobile app that will allow me to create new posts and upload/edit them on the go which will be extremely helpful for me and will ensure that I’m able to post regularly. Again thank you all and I look forward to future discussions and commentary
In Memorandum – For the baby I’ll never know
06 Aug 2010 2 Comments
in Memorandum
A few months ago I was told that I wouldn’t be able to have any more children. It was a shock without a doubt even though I couldn’t imagine myself with any more kids. I already have 4 but it broke my heart just hearing that I couldn’t have anymore. Then in June I was told that due to the current medications that I’m on and the stress that my disability is having on my body I was entering early menopause. Another huge shock but I dealt with it just like everything else in my life. Why cry over spilled milk? I then found out a week ago (Saturday July 31, 2010 to be exact) that I was pregnant again. I cried, I yelled, I cussed. I was hurt, scared, and angry but underneath it all I was also happy. Happy because all children are a blessing and this baby was my miracle baby. Would it be hard to raise 5 kids on my own? Of course but there was a reason why God gave me this baby. And then just like that, it was gone.
I wasn’t sure I’d be able to carry another child. With the amount and types of medications that I am on there was a chance the baby, if it survived, would be born with serious complications. Plus the pressure of carrying a child on my already fragile back could leave me at best in the hospital on bed rest and at the worst permanently paralyzed. But I don’t believe in abortion except when necessary to save the mother’s life and my life wouldn’t be in jeopardy. My boyfriend didn’t want to take the risk at all. The one family member that I did tell told me I’d be a fool to have the baby so I didn’t tell anyone else but my twitter fam (a group of great women who have been so supportive but whom I’ve never even met). I tried to escape all of what’s going on this week by staying on the blogs and trying to fill my head with mindless nonsense but that didn’t work out because my presence, words and who knows what offended other people. My mom and friends complained that I was distant and had an attitude, right now they aren’t speaking to me at all. Funny thing is, you never know what someone is going through. I saw the doctor on Wednesday and learned that the baby appeared to be healthy and that with the exception of two medications I could continue my current regimen without worry in regards to the baby although carrying the baby would put me through hell to say the least and I thought I could deal with it. I told the dr I’d been cramping and she said that was normal for now and she referred me to a group of specialists for my back and scheduled a follow up appointment for the following week. I had my ultrasound and saw him or her (I’m going for him) and finally set my mind to the fact that I was going to have this baby. My blood pressure was high at the visit but it was one time and we attributed it to stress. Until that night when my cramping got worse. I went in for a second visit and found out that my blood pressure was still high, too high and with the early stage of the pregnancy there was no way to determine if the baby was okay and given the circumstances combined with my health, my dr decided that I could not continue with the pregnancy.
I found out I was pregnant on Saturday and by Thursday afternoon, my baby was gone. The boyfriend doesn’t understand. He can’t understand how I can be actually hurt over a baby I never knew but this was my miracle and that’s not something you just get over. Whether it was 4 days, 4 hours or 4 seconds, I had a life growing inside me, a life that would have grown into a child no different than the 4 sleeping kids lying next to me as I type this right now. That was mine¸ of my own flesh and blood, that is now gone. I would have to be completely heartless to not feel something. I have yet to tell anyone else what happened because I don’t want to answer the questions, receive the looks from the same people who couldn’t understand my hurt when I discovered I couldn’t have any more kids earlier this year (because as so many said, I have more than enough already) so I’m writing this here. So that while baby Cinco (for #5) will never be known to everyone else, it will always be there in the back of my mind as what could have been. Life goes on and everything happens for a reason, what is this reason? I have no idea but I know that I can’t simply move on and forget. It’s amazing how you can love someone you’ve never even met but I did. I fell in love with him because he was mine, because he wasn’t supposed to be here, because I thought I would never feel what it’s like to be pregnant again and then just like that I was. He was my last shot, I won’t have another one. They will be tying my tubes next week so that another “mistake” like this can’t happen but to me it’s not a mistake. How can you call life a mistake? You may be wondering why I’m writing all this, well it’s so that someone else knows what happened this week. I don’t want him to be forgotten, just another blurb in the monotonous moving picture of life. So that someone knows that a life was created this week and now that life is gone but the memory of that life will always be here and I will never ever forget. He deserves that much, I never got to hold his little hands or see his little face but I loved it, if no one else did. It’s only fitting that my birthday is tomorrow yet he (or she) never got to see his. There are those who will read this and say I’m over reacting and maybe I am, maybe I’m too sensitive or should grow a tougher skin but that’s easier said than done and my heart hurts for my child that I wasn’t able to have.
Thank You
03 Aug 2010 Leave a Comment
Thank you to all who’ve read the blog and commented or have just read without commenting. My life has gone a little crazy in the last couple weeks and I haven’t been able to focus but I truly appreciate everyone for your support and encouragement and I will have a new post soon (as in tonight). Thank you everyone again and I will talk to you soon
What’s wrong with the music industry???
08 Jul 2010 1 Comment
in Music Industry, This world we live in, Your opinion please
There is clearly something going on in the music industry and it’s not good. I remember coming up in the early 90’s and music was highly sexual, gangsta rap was in its heyday and they were mostly real thugs with a record deal but you know what? The music was good. My iPod has more songs from the late 80’s – late 90’s than anything else. Not to mention the old school music. I’m a music industry baby, my mother was in the business, my father was in the business, and my uncle had connections within the industry. I came up on Stevie Wonder, Earth, Wind and Fire, Rufus and Chaka Khan, Al Green, all of Motown, Patti Labelle, Deniece Williams, Prince, Michael Jackson, New Edition, Boyz II Men, Mary J, Snoop and Dr. Dre, NWA, Biggie, Nas, Duran Duran, Nirvana, Red Hot Chili Peppers, No Doubt not to mention all the gospel acts because my grandmother was a pastor and that’s just off the top of my head tired as hell at 3:30 a.m. It would be an understatement to say I have a broad taste when it comes to music, my playlists are very eclectic and stretch many different musical spectrums but one thing they all had in common was TALENT. Nowadays, that’s almost unheard of. It seems like anyone can get a record deal, the radio will play anything, and videos are practically soft core porn and the industry more than ever is an anything goes type of business. And the effect of what’s going on is clearly being seen in the youth today yet no one is doing anything about it. Honestly, I think that’s why the illuminati rumors are running so rampant right now because people are trying to make sense of this nonsense so they readily believe the rumors of an all powerful secret organization running the world through the world’s top power figures all in an ultimate plot that will culminate in the New World Order. My belief? My beliefs are in God, the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. He has already outlined how the end will come in the book of Revelations so I’m not buying into this illuminati nonsense on YouTube if for nothing else than the fact that the conspiracy theorists are pulling from too many different sources to come up with their conspiracies. I will say that you can’t believe in God without believing in Satan and evil. It’s out there, unfortunately and he is working to bring down as many souls as possible before God takes back this world from him. And he is definitely working through the industry. The fact that these music videos are showing clearly demonic symbolism (which honestly has been done for so many years but is now so blatant), those artists who have been accused of “devil worshipping” and being a part of the “illuminati” the most are throwing caution to the wind, spitting in the faces of everyone who believes in the Lord God by so called being “sarcastic” by putting these images in the videos, the fact that you can’t get a record deal and a successful hit record unless you agree to be half naked in your videos, selling sex on stage and over the airwaves, the male artists are dressing like straight fools, in female accessories, tattoos covering their entire bodies, including their faces, clothes hanging off their back or on the flip side in clothes so tight they’ve gotta have yeast growing in their draws, and if you don’t have a gimmick or aren’t made of plastic you just can’t make it. So yes, something is definitely going on and I don’t like it at all. Take an artist like Rihanna, with a dead look permanently in her eyes, zero talent, and atrocious stage costumes yet she is America’s sweetheart and one of the top stars in the country? How is that possible? But artists like Jazmine Sullivan, Chrisette Michelle, Jennifer Hudson, Fantasia and others with TALENT have to fight for record sales and to keep their record deals. Is it because they’re fighting the industry standards of becoming a plastic gimmick, getting naked and selling sex? Or is it because they haven’t sold their souls? I’m going to be honest, I don’t follow rap like I used to in my younger days but rappers like Jay Z, Gucci Mane, Rick Rozay (dumbest name ever), Souljah Boy, Diddy, Wacka Flacka (okay that’s the dumbest name ever, Officer Ricky is 2nd), TI can commit crimes, disrespect women in their personal lives and in their music, disrespect and disregard their children, dress like they belong on the short bus yet they are applauded because they’re rich, keep up with the trends and do a little community service? Is the service they are providing to the community greater than the harm that they are doing to the community through their past crimes and current glorification of the criminal life? Does the fact that they pay thousands and millions in child support outweigh the fact that their children likely see them every couple months and are watching these “men” and idolizing them as children naturally do to their parents and will likely grow up to be just like them? Wacka Flacka’s mother is the one who actually put him in the business, he’s been out for maybe a year, two years tops and has been shot at least twice and you only hear his name when it’s involved in some kind of nonsense. What mother puts her child at risk in that way just to make him (and her as his manager) rich? Who puts their own flesh and blood in the line of fire? So I don’t care what anyone says, something is definitely going on in the music industry right now, it may not be the illuminati as everyone lately is so quick to accuse, but there is a definite, deliberate effort to promote garbage at the expense of our children, our communities, our culture and our world. And if something doesn’t change soon, then it will only get worse. I went to a barbecue on the 4th of July and there was a dance competition with about 15 kids on stage dancing to all the popular songs out today. Not the radio friendly, clean versions (which aren’t clean) but the album versions and these kids were shaking it up like they were in the club while the parent’s cheered them on (my kids asked to join and all it took was a look from me and they sat their butts down immediately) but the sad thing is this is what’s being promoted in our communities. These rappers with football and basketball leagues, what are they teaching the kids that they are coaching? If they tell them to live life differently than them while they are still promoting the streets than these kids see them as hypocrites and won’t take them seriously. But if they continue their hood and thug image in front of the youth they are supposed to be leading than we have more young black men and women growing up to think that the streets is the only way that they can make it. We the consumers have to take a stand against this nonsense or it will never ever change. I for one don’t support any of it and I do my best to shelter my children from the filth that is being promoted to children now but I am only one person. Our communities, parents and leaders need to become united and demand a change or else whatever has a hold of the music industry, be it the illuminate, the devil or just plain old greed and indifference will continue to take its hold on our children and they will be doomed and this world really will come to an end soon. If you want to support these artists as an adult, that’s your choice but at least take a stand to prevent the children and teens growing up in this day and age from being exposed to it because they don’t have the same ability to differentiate entertainment from reality, they don’t realize that these guys rapping about shooting, dealing and thugging are actually living in multimillion dollar homes, sending their children to private schools and are far removed from the hood which they so proudly rep in their music. What are your thoughts? Let me know in the comments.
